Continually Sharpening

A theological blog by Dr. Janelle Zeeb

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Self-Care Is Spiritual Warfare

(Or alternatively titled, "How To Defeat Satan With A Bowl of Oatmeal.")

It's fairly well known that December can be a tough month for many people.

One survey suggests that 64% of people feel the 'holiday blues', and twenty four percent of people feel these blues quite strongly. The blues can include feelings of fatigue, loneliness, sadness, and frustration.1

The holiday blues can also make pre-existing mental health challenges even more difficult:

The holiday season beams a spotlight on everything that is difficult about living with depression.... The pressure to be joyful and social is tenfold.2

However, this isn't to downplay how many people struggle with mental health conditions on a regular basis.

In the past, I have taken advantage of Christian counselling during a time when I wasn't feeling my best. My counsellor would at times remind me about the importance of self-care. Things like getting enough sleep, eating enough healthy food, getting exercise, taking time to relax and rest, and so on.

At the time, it seemed like silly advice. I didn't think that any of these things were going to make me feel better about the issues I was in counselling for, which at times made me feel so bad that I wished I could just die and go to heaven already.

And usually, I just felt guilty when I took naps or spent time relaxing or working on hobbies. I felt that I wasn't doing something productive and useful, and so I was wasting the limited time that God had given me in this life to do good works and earn eternal heavenly rewards. Then that made me feel even worse about myself.

Lately, though, I've come to realize that the idea of self-care isn't silly at all. I also realized that I shouldn't feel guilty about taking care of myself by taking time to rest, relax, exercise, or eat regularly.

That's because, as I will argue in this post, I believe that self-care is actually an important form of spiritual warfare!

And although it's called 'self' care, which could make it appear to be selfish, I will argue that it isn't, because self-care is also a way of loving others.

Therefore, I think self-care should be something that all Christians keep in mind as one weapon in our spiritual arsenal that we can use to protect ourselves from the enemy's attacks whenever we are feeling stressed or depressed.

Christians Are Satan's Targets

When you think of spiritual warfare, probably the first thing that comes to mind is someone who goes around casting out demons, right?

Maybe someone who's like the modern-day spiritual equivalent of Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings, who uses special spiritual gifts to stand up against the most evil forces of darkness.

Or at least, we might think of a strong Christian who has a really great prayer life, reads the Bible daily, attends church every week, and who intercedes in prayer for others and for world events.

Or maybe we picture activists who try to peacefully push back against harmful government policies, and whistle-blowers who expose unethical practices in large organizations.

Or we could think more broadly about anyone who speaks out and stands up against corruption, mismanagement, injustice, sin, and evil wherever it shows up in the world.

And it's true that all these activities could be examples of engaging in spiritual warfare.

But spiritual warfare also occurs wherever and whenever God's people try to do God's will, even in much smaller or less obvious ways.

Remember that Satan hates anything that is good and loving, because God is love (1 John 4:8). God is also the one who created everything, and so God is the source of all life and goodness (James 1:17). As a result, all that Satan wants to do is to steal, kill, and destroy, wherever and however he can (John 10:10, John 8:44).

As Christians, our mission is to love God and love others (Matthew 22:37-40, 1 John 4:21), to do good works (Ephesians 2:10), and to share the gospel with all people and teach them about God and what God wants us to do (Matthew 28:19-20).

If you're a Christian, then no matter who you are, what your job is, or what your spiritual gifts are, there is some way or another that you can do these things. And by doing these things, you are fulfilling God's mission for your life and helping bring about God's purposes for the world. That means you are simultaneously thwarting Satan's plans.

Therefore, Satan wants to stop you from making a difference for God in this world, in whatever ways you are currently doing that.

This means that your life won't be as easy as it would have been if you were not a Christian. You're going to face opposition, difficulties, and challenges that will tempt you to give up on living for Jesus, or to give up your faith.

But remember, just keeping your faith is a victory that will lead to eternal rewards:

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? (1 John 5:4-5)

And it is expected that our faith will be tested, to prove how genuine and valuable it is:

In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith—being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:6-7, NRSVA)

At times, these difficulties, trials, and challenges might feel so tough that even if you keep your faith, you might be tempted to give up on living altogether.

I've been there too, and so have many significant godly Biblical figures who were tempted to give up on their missions and either wanted to die, wished they had never been born, or struggled with despair. Let's consider:

  • Moses (Numbers 11:14-15)
  • Elijah (1 Kings 19:4)
  • Paul (2 Corinthians 1:8-9)
  • Jonah (Jonah 4:3, 4:8)
  • Jeremiah (Jeremiah 20:14-18)
  • Job (Job 3:20-22, Job 6:8-9)

So just because you're facing difficulties and might be feeling like you can't go on, it doesn't mean you are a failure of a Christian. In reality, it probably means the exact opposite.

I would even say that as Christians, if we aren't experiencing any difficulties in our lives whatsoever, then perhaps we aren't taking our faith seriously or doing what we should be doing for God.

After all, in a war, a smart enemy won't waste resources taking out soldiers who are just sitting around not being effective. Instead, a smart enemy would focus his limited resources on taking out those soldiers who are the biggest threat to his schemes.

So if you're facing challenges while you're faithfully trying to love God and love others, and are using the spiritual gifts that God has given you, then you should be encouraged that you're doing something right, and you should keep on doing it.

However, that doesn't mean things will get easier. After all, Jesus said "Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world" (John 16:33, NLT).

As the world approaches the end times, we can be encouraged that the Rapture will happen to take all Christians to heaven before the world enters the Tribulation. But in the meantime, things will likely become even tougher for the average person around the world, including Christians (Matthew 24:6-8).

Despite this, as long as we are still here, we are told that we should be occupying ourselves with God's work until Jesus comes back (Luke 19:13).

Therefore, self-care will become even more important for Christians as we look forward to the day when Jesus will come back to take us to be with him (John 14:1-3, 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17), because it's one way of keeping ourselves 'in the game' until then.

Don't Quit: Keep Yourself In The Game

One end-times commentator whose podcast I listened to compared what Christians experience in this life to playing on a sports team.

It's the final game of the season, and there are only five minutes left on the clock. Our team's score is so high that there's no possible way the opposing team could make up the difference. The timer is counting down to the end of the game, and it's guaranteed that we're going to win.

However, we still have five minutes left to play. Although the opposing team can't win, they could, out of vindictiveness and spite, decide to hit individual players with everything they've got. This would be in order to try to cause injuries that send these players off to the hospital, to keep them from participating in the victory celebration they are anticipating.3

Now, we know that Jesus has already won the victory over sin, death, and the devil when Jesus died on the cross for all sin, rose again, and ascended into heaven (Colossians 2:13–15, Hebrews 2:14–15). But Satan is still attacking Christians with everything he's got until he will be locked up for a thousand years (Revelation 20:1-3) and is finally thrown into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:10).

So in the meantime, our goal is to keep ourselves in the game, by keeping our faith, doing what God calls us to do, and staying alive until God decides it's time for us to go home.

Paul compares the Christian life to running a race or fighting a boxing match (1 Corinthians 9:24-27, 2 Timothy 4:7-8). In both cases, it's tough, exhausting, and it hurts. It's no wonder that sometimes, quitting seems like the most sensible option.

Paul admitted that he longed to be done with the fight and go home to be with Jesus, which is far better. But he knew that he couldn't give up yet, because he was still useful to God by staying and helping the early churches (Philippians 1:21-24).

There is an inspirational quote I've seen that says "I pray that when I die, all of hell will rejoice that I am out of the fight."4

I like this. I think it should be each Christian's goal to live in such a way that Satan will be glad when God finally takes us home, whether in the Rapture, or perhaps sooner. Or at least, it's something I want to aim for personally.

However, sometimes the storms of life and the spiritual battle gets so tough that making a difference for God in the world seems impossible. We might be so exhausted and beat up that it feels like all we can do is hunker down and hold on for dear life.

It's during these times that I think self-care is most necessary, and this is when self-care also becomes a completely legitimate form of spiritual warfare.

How Self-Care Is Spiritual Warfare

It's easy to assume that 'spiritual' warfare would only involve 'spiritual' activities like:

  • prayer
  • reading the Bible
  • going to Bible study
  • going to church
  • resisting temptation
  • overcoming habitual sins

And of course, these are all good things to do. These activities can certainly help encourage us, strengthen our faith, and make our Christian lives easier.

But I think spiritual warfare can also include activities such as:

  • eating a snack or a meal
  • taking a nap
  • going for a walk outside
  • reading an enjoyable book
  • going for coffee with a friend
  • listening to music that makes you feel happy
  • wrapping up in a warm blanket
  • taking a hot shower or a relaxing bath
  • getting enough sleep at night
  • working on hobbies
  • watching sports, tv shows, or a movie

Does this sound ridiculous? I don't think so.

Let's look at when Jesus was tempted in the wilderness after his baptism:

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. (Matthew 4:1-2)

Notice that it's only then that Satan showed up to try to tempt Jesus (Matthew 4:3).

It's like Satan knew that if he tried to tempt Jesus right at the start of the forty days, when Jesus was feeling fresh and well-fed, Satan would have had less of a chance of getting Jesus to give in to his temptations.

So Satan waits until Jesus is physically hungry, thirsty, and probably tired, too. (After all, sleeping out in the wilderness on rocks and scraggly vegetation can't be comfortable).

Now obviously, we're not Jesus, but I think Satan's strategy is still the same when he attacks Christians. He will send his demons to come pester us and try to tempt us when we're at our weakest and most vulnerable, both physically and/or emotionally.

I've noticed this pattern in my own life. Once I realize this, then I can keep a closer watch on it. This is also where self-care can become a form of spiritual warfare.

Because if I realize when the pattern is beginning, then I can also try to do things to address my physical or emotional state in order to keep myself from becoming an easy target for Satan to pick on, as I'll explain below.

How Spiritual Warfare Shows Up In My Life

Here's how the above pattern usually works for me:

I start getting stressed for some reason, maybe over a little thing that really isn't a big deal in the big scheme of things, but it's enough to make me start worrying about all the potential negative consequences it could lead to.

Then I begin having negative and pessimistic thoughts about myself or about my personal future.

Then I start comparing my life to how other people's lives appear to be going, or I begin comparing my ministry to how much others seem to be doing for God.

Since the outcome of that comparison in my pessimistic state of mind is always negative, then I start criticizing myself, and I begin to feel useless and depressed. Or at worst, I feel like I'm a burden who contributes nothing to anyone and is only a drain on others.

That's when I start being tempted to think that things would be easier both for me and for others if I were in heaven. In the moment, it feels like I'm thinking completely objectively, and that everything really is as bad as it feels it is.

However, I've learned that when I get into this frame of mind, usually part of the problem is that I'm either hungry or tired.

And if I do something simple like have a small bowl of oatmeal, I'll usually start feeling better within half an hour or so. Then the negative thoughts disappear or fade at least a little in severity.

Or sometimes, I feel better after I have a nap or a good night's sleep. Or after I take a hot shower to relax. Or after a walk.

Sometimes, I just need to put on a comfy, warm pair of clothes, wrap up in a blanket, put on some good music, and do something fun and creative to relax for a few minutes, or hours, or days, or longer, if I really need to. For example, when writing my dissertation, I once had an entire week when I just had to stop and work on my hobbies before I could get the motivation to get back to it.

But in the past, I used to really hate when this happened. I'd criticize myself harshly for wasting so much time doing things like working on hobbies that are ultimately not really 'useful' in any way to anyone, besides keeping me mentally healthy.

Because like I mentioned earlier, for me, I'm happiest when I feel like I'm making a difference in the world for God, in one way or another. So when I take time to nap, sleep, eat, relax, or do something fun and creative, it feels like I'm no longer making a difference.

That would return me to the cycle of criticizing myself, and I'd again start comparing myself to other people who seem to be making more of a difference than me. Then I'd feel even worse about myself, and the spiral downward would continue.

However, recently, I realized that I shouldn't be so negative about the time I spend on self-care activities.

Because even if during these times I'm not currently 'doing' anything that feels useful, it's better to at least still be here, because then there's at least a chance that once I'm feeling better, I will be useful again.

Whereas if I give in to the temptation to end my life early, then I would cut off all chances of potentially being used by God in this life in the future, and Satan wins.

So therefore, if, through self-care, I can thwart Satan's desire to take me out and so destroy any chance of being useful to God in the future, then self-care becomes a form of spiritual warfare.

And that means I shouldn't feel that it's unproductive or useless, and I shouldn't feel guilty for needing these things. Because really, if I can defeat Satan by something as simple as eating a bowl of oatmeal, then why shouldn't I? It's literally the easiest form of spiritual warfare that I can imagine!

Now, of course, this is just my personal experience. Maybe spiritual warfare shows up differently for you, especially if you have a different personality type that has different weaknesses. If so, then your self-care activities might also be different.

However, that doesn't negate my point that I believe we all have some times when we tend to feel worse than others, and that this is when you become more vulnerable to spiritual attacks. Therefore, it's important for each of us to recognize how this works in our own lives, and have an arsenal of strategies we can use to help us counter the enemy's attacks.

Of course, self-care isn't an excuse to indulge in things that are unhealthy and/or sinful. I could list many examples of these things, but I suspect you already know what I'm talking about. Or if you're thinking of something sinful that you want permission to do under the guise of it being 'self-care', the Holy Spirit will convict you about that.

These sinful things, although they may seem attractive and may feel good in the moment (as sin always does), will only lead you to more misery, and if followed too far, to death (James 1:14-15). That means that sin and excessive unhealthy indulgences are the opposite of self-care, and should be avoided.

Now, one objection that I suspect many Christians might have to the idea of self-care is that it seems to be selfish. However, this is false, because as I will argue below, self-care is a way not only of loving ourselves, but also of loving others.

Self-Care Is A Way To Love Ourselves

Let's imagine that one of our friends or family members comes to us and tells us that they aren't feeling well, either physically, or emotionally. If we truly love them, we should want to do what we can to make them feel better.

We might tell them to go rest, while we make them a bowl of soup or a cup of hot chocolate. We might try to cheer them up by watching their favorite movie with them, or doing something to take their mind off their issues. We might take them out for ice cream and let them vent to us.

Hopefully, we wouldn't tell them to just suck it up, or to ignore whatever is troubling them because it's not a real problem. Hopefully we wouldn't tell them that they just need to keep going full steam ahead, even if it feels like they are exhausted and on the edge of burnout.

And I really hope that we wouldn't say that if they take a break to take care of themselves, then they're weak, lazy, unmotivated, selfish, being a burden, and on and on.

But sometimes this is what I tell myself when I'm feeling down. It's like I can have more love and grace for others than I have for myself.

However, God repeatedly instructs us to love others just like we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39, Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14, James 2:8).

So this commandment presumes that we should love ourselves. And there's nothing wrong with loving ourselves, because God already loves us so much that he died for us (John 3:16).

Therefore, even if self-care was only a way of loving ourselves, it would still be a valid and good thing to do. However, as unusual as it may sound, self-care is also a way of loving others, as I'll explain in the next section.

Self-Care Is A Way To Love Others

Someone might object by saying that in John 15:13, Jesus says that the highest form of love is to be willing to die for someone else. So shouldn't we be willing to do everything we can for others, even if it means that we ourselves are hurt in the process?

If that's what the verse means, then it could seem to contradict the idea of self-care, or of even setting boundaries with others. It would mean we have to give, and give, and give some more, until we have literally nothing left. But I think this is not the best interpretation of John 15:13.

Obviously, Jesus did choose to give up his life to die on the cross for the whole world even though no one was forcing him to, and this is the greatest example of love. (Jesus also knew he would be resurrected, though, and that by going to the cross, he would get what he wanted most: people who will love him eternally. So it was ultimately a victory, not a loss).

Sometimes in this world there are tough situations where someone chooses to die in order to save another person's life because there is no alternative. We can think of bodyguards who take a bullet for the person they are protecting, or parents who feed the last of their food to their child and go hungry themselves.

But in other situations where someone's life isn't at stake, then love doesn't have to look like giving up everything for another person's sake.

Even Jesus took personal time out for himself (Matthew 14:22-23), and prioritized the needs of his disciples over the crowds (Mark 6:31). Jesus didn't heal every single person in the country who needed healing, or feed every person who needed food, even though he did do some miracles for some people. Jesus was also criticized for spending time attending dinner parties as part of his ministry (Luke 5:30-32, Luke 7:34).

In the book Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend argue that setting proper limits with others is actually a way of loving others who otherwise won't take responsibility for their own issues or lives.

Cloud and Townsend argue that,

Appropriate boundaries actually increase our ability to care about others. People with highly developed limits are the most caring people on earth.5

Why is that? Because,

Boundary-injured individuals make promises and then do one of two things; (1) they resentfully make good, or (2) they fail on the promise. Boundary-developed people, however, make good [on their promises] freely and gladly. Or they don't promise at all.6

What is more loving: to give to others cheerfully (2 Corinthians 9:7) and follow through on our promises, or to give resentfully and also risk not following through on our promises?

We also need to care for ourselves in order to care for others effectively and in sustainable ways, without becoming people who are then just as needy as those we are trying to help. Cloud and Townsend describe this as "counting the cost" of our helping. They warn that,

Following up on guilt-ridden or compliant responsibilities can be quite costly, painful, and inconvenient. The lesson you need to learn is to not promise too much before you have done your spiritual and emotional [or financial] calculations.7

Even if someone is in real need, we all have limits. Townsend and Cloud believe that we should all,

Learn what your limits are, give what you have "decided in your heart" to give, and send other people in need to those who can help them. Empathize with these people's situations. They often need to know that you see their needs as valid and that they really do need help. And pray for them. This is the most loving thing you can do for the pain and needs around you that you can't meet.8

Townsend and Cloud also say that it's important for us to

initiate responsible caretaking for ourselves—as opposed to placing the burden on someone else.9

In fact,

God intends for us to know when we're hungry, lonely, in trouble, overwhelmed, or in need of a break—and then to take initiative to get what we need.10

So sometimes, our limits/boundaries can look like taking time for self-care. And when we do, I believe that self-care is also a way of loving others.

For example, when I'm feeling down, I try to remind myself that if I did give in to the temptation to end my life early, then not only would Satan win, but all the people who love me would also lose.

I know that my loved ones would rather see me take a nap, eat a bowl of oatmeal, watch a movie, work on hobbies, or whatever I need to do to feel better, rather than take myself out of their lives. And I would want the same for anyone who was also struggling with the temptation to commit suicide, even if it meant that temporarily, they weren't available to help me out or contribute anything to the world.

But this is true even in less drastic cases, too.

For example, I can't be a benefit to anyone I love if I'm crying on my bed feeling awful about myself or my future, and wishing I was in heaven instead. And likely, my loved ones wouldn't be happy if I was in this state, either. So in this situation, if I want to love others, the most loving thing I can do is to get up, eat that bowl of oatmeal, and watch some silly cat videos on the internet until I regain a more objective perspective on my situation.

Self-care can also be done proactively, before I find myself falling into that situation where I just want to go cry, and it's still just as loving of an action.

For example, if I can keep myself feeling positive by taking some time off to do something fun and creative for a few hours or a day on a weekend, then those around me benefit from me being at my best, rather than if I were moping around feeling stressed and unhappy. It's more loving to do what I need to so that I can bring the best of myself into my relationships, than to neglect myself until I'm unpleasant to be around and make others worry about me.

Plus, if I'm doing alright both emotionally and physically, then I'm also more able to potentially help others, rather than needing to be helped by others. And then I'm happier. And my spouse is happier. And a happier Christian is a better witness to others than an unhappy or grumpy Christian.

Therefore, I need to remember that self-care is a loving action, and that I shouldn't feel guilty when I take time out for myself. In so doing, I'm loving myself, loving others, and also thwarting Satan's desires to make me miserable and useless to God and to others.

Conclusion

I hope this post has been helpful or encouraging to you if you also experience times when it feels like you're barely holding on.

Maybe you're even feeling this way right now. If this is where you're at, then just keep holding on, because keeping your faith and not giving in to temptations to prematurely end your mission will be rewarded. And there's nothing you should be ashamed of for just holding on, even if you can't do anything else at the moment.

Jesus encourages Christians who live before the Rapture that,

Because you have obeyed my command to persevere, I will protect you from the great time of testing that will come upon the whole world to test those who belong to this world. I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take away your crown. (Revelation 3:10-11, NLT)

And we're encouraged that if we hold on in the meantime, even if we have to endure suffering, it will all be so worth it in the end:

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18)

This 'light momentary affliction' might not seem so light or momentary in the moment. But this verse promises us that it will seem this way when we look back on our suffering in heaven in comparison to our heavenly rewards which will far outweigh it.

If you want to read more on this theme of suffering and heavenly rewards, check out my post on how suffering is useful for Christians.

And if you would like more encouragement to keep going and doing your best for God, maybe you would like my post about how Christians are superheros.

Footnotes:

Tags: spiritual warfare
Older: Will 'Good' People Be Eternally Saved?
Newer: Expect The Rapture When Things Are 'Normal'

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